Holiday Persimmon Bread

Holiday Persimmon Bread
Jessica Knutzen (12/1/10)

INGREDIENTS:
2 cups persimmon pulp
2 ½ tsp baking soda
3 cups white sugar
1 cup butter (softened)
4 eggs (Large/XLarge AA)
1 ½ tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp ground cloves
½ tsp nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1/3 cup water
3 cups all-purpose flour
walnuts (optional on top or mixed-in)

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350˚ F
1) In a small bowl combine persimmon pulp and baking soda; let stand for five minutes to thicken.
2) In a medium bowl combine sugar, butter, eggs, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, water and salt. Blend until smooth.
3) Alternate persimmon and flour into mixture until combined.
BAKING:
For Bread Loaf
Pour batter to fill pan 2/3 full. (This batch should make 2-3 6x3in loaves.) Bake for 60 minutes (or until golden and toothpick comes out clean).
For Muffins
Pour batter into each cup 2/3 full. (This batch should make 2 dozen muffins). Bake for 20 minutes (or until golden and toothpick comes out clean).

just a sucker

Ohhh, I am such a sucker for male vocalists and musicians.
I can be totally bummed by whatever has interrupted my groove in life, and all I have to do is plug in and get in touch with one of my favorite male musicians like Michael Buble, Glen Hansard, Andy Davis and the like and just be wooed back into the right mood. How on earth do these men have such power over me?!

Cheers to all you dreamers :)

I Put on Pilgrim's Shoe

I put on pilgrim’s shoe
On a journey to prove
That we are free to move
Closer to the truth
Like a balm to soothe
The heart bearing a bruise
Standing on the edge with one breath, left to choose
To take one more step
A leap of faith, a drop of hope
Seeing I’m not at the end
Of the rope/ choak-ing out another breath
Never knowing how much is left… for…
The path ahead,
The journey we must tread
For the hands and feet
That have already bleed
Of the bridegroom to whom we are wed
Fed… by bread… and wine, the fruit of the vine
For in this moment this life is not wholly mine
We see a sign… every time…
I move forward… or wait
I remember that he died for our sake.

Fresh

One of the most amazing things about Albania was the FRESH produce. Some of the best tomatoes, cucumbers and Watermelon I have had in my life. Along with fresh bread every day. It was amazing.

As I was watering the front garden yesterday I realized my neighbors tomato plant was heavy laden with fruit. I watered the plant and harvested the fruit intending to pass it along to them, hoping for a few myself. Instead they told me I could have 90% of the batch--about 3-4 lbs of tomato! So excited about my harvest I realized my small group was scheduled to have community pizza night the next day. So, I looked online for a "home-made pizza sauce" recipe. The best one I saw just gave some general guidelines... that's my kind of cooking. So here's how it went.


mince garlic... about 6-8 cloves let sit in olive oil and salt while prepping other items
chop/blend tomatoes. I started chopping, but it looked to chunky, so then I blended it all up.
chop/mince basil about a handful

simmer garlic for 2-4 minutes over medium heat in a large pot (big enough for the whole batch)
add a pinch or two of crushed red peppers for some heat (stirring constantly)
drop in tomatoes, turn up the heat and stir occasionally until it reaches a boil.
reduce heat to a simmer and let it reduce
Stir in Oregano, Rosemary, Salt and Pepper
(simmer about 30-45 minutes)

Sorry I don't have more details, it's more an art than a science, and a whole lot more fun that way.

Fun with Food.

Reentry

One week back and a LOT has changed. I was not expecting some of it but I am glad to be home and I am glad God is doing good things in my life. As I reflect on my five weeks of travel through Italy and Albania I am so blessed to have memories of deep and meaningful conversations, new experiences which help me to see the world in a different light, the great excitement of new friendships and the blessed presence of God in and through it all.
Being a planner, and admittedly a little bit too much of a planner, I am quickly changing from one event to the next. I returned from my travels eager to dive into work at the church and ready to move into the next year of my life--my last year of Seminary. I have realized that I needed to slow down a little bit more, note the difference between the place I live now and the places I had called home over the past five weeks. I was almost too eager to sleep in my own bed that I had forgotten too soon the hospitality I was shown in Italy and Albania. It makes me wonder why I am so comfortable isolating myself in my own apartment rather than appreciating the generosity and warmth of strangers-made-friends in Italy and Albania. Now, I'm not ready to give up my bed, window screens, a microwaves, Trader Joe's, my car, air conditioning, almond butter or many of the other comforts and luxuries of my life here in California but I am at a place of trying to reflect and see God in and through it all.
I don't want to loose sight of the God I met and experienced in the Medieval World of Italy and on the streets of Albania. I don't want to get so caught up in the traffic, billboards, amenities and chaos of LA that I forget the peaceful walks I had in Erseke, or the streets of Rome marked by history, theology, art and hand crafted relics. I want to spend time over the next few weeks making those connections. Marking the similarities and the differences and sharing stories of my experiences, if you will listen. I hear that the best way to remember something is to tell someone else about it... I'm going to give that a try.

Albania

So it has been 6 days now in Albania. We have been helping out with running a Jr. High camp of 130 students. All of the students are Albanian, about 50% speak some english, and about 10% speak very good english. They are fun, caring, very good, energetic, vivacious and passionate. They love to sing songs together, and jump up and down and dance together. It is a very different experience than the camp I grew up at with lots of amenities. Here they have three delicious but not very glamourous meals. They spend some time in the morning and evening listening to speakers and singing songs and then have the opportunity to play in the portable pool (about 20ft/10ft), climb on the ropes course, archery, canoeing, crafts and many more. They also prepare skits, dances, memory verses and songs for the evening program. They are very comfortable being up front and love the opportunity to jump up on stage and share something. Some of the skits and dramas have been really good, even the ones that I would think were "totally lame" back home end up being the most meaningful here. One group did an interpretation to "Total Eclipse of the Heart." They acted out how so many things in life can take us away from being loved by God like greed, pride, drugs, alcohol and other things, but God is always there calling us back to him. And in the end when you give your heart to God he will have the strength and the power to take away all those other sins and problems in your life. These kids know their stuff!!
It has been fun getting to know the students, though the language is very difficult to learn. We are communicating with hand gestures, facial expressions and very, VERY simple words. All is going well and we are so blessed to be here. The staff are amazing and the students are very inspiring. Thank you for your prayers and support. Keep them coming, we have one more week to go.

Peace,
Xhesika (How one girl, Xhoana (Joanna), spelled my name in Albanian)

Albania Mission Trip

Here are two sites which may be informative for you:


1) Mark and Ruthie's ministry "Alongside Ministries International"
http://alongside.org/cgi-local/index.pl?view=albania


2) FPCH's Youth Mission trip blog/page.
http://youthministries.typepad.com/albania_2010/


Thank you for your prayers and support! We'll keep you posted.


Peace
Jessica

The poem...

This is a poem I wrote in response to the prompt we were given "I put on pilgrim shoes"

I put on pilgrims shoe
on a journey to proove
that we are free to move
closer to the truth.
Like a balm to soothe
the heart that bears a bruise
standing on the edge with one breath left to choose
to take one more step
a leap of faith
a drop of hope.
Seeing I'm not at the end of the rope,
choak-ing out another breath
never knowing how much is left
for.. the path ahead
the journey we must tread
for the hands and feet that have already bled
of the bridegroom to whom we are wed
Fed by bread and wine, fruit of the vine
that someday this life would no longer be mine
A sign, any time I tremble or shake
I remember he died for our sake.

Siena

Our first "day trip" was to Siena. We saw St. Catherine's chapel, and went to the Piazza Del Campo, the Duomo in Siena and all kinds of other stuff. I wish I had a documentary of these things, I feel like I can't remember half of what we did. It's all very new to me, I don't have a lot of art history to fall back on, or information about Italy. So here are some pictures to keep you interested.


This is one of my favorite statues. It is a Giovanni Pisano of Mary, Moses' sister at the Museo dell'Opera.


This is the lectern where scripture is read... if that doesn't strike fear into the heart of someone reading the word of God I don't know what will!


The Duomo, Cathedral at Siena.


The Piazza del Campo. With our professor, and very gifted artist, Christopher Slatoff (look him up he's awesome!) and my friends Jared and Stefan.


And a picture of the lovely, and bizarre, St. Catherine.

What first?

I can hardly think of what to post first.
Right now I'm missing Orvieto a bit, and the wonderful students and professors I studied with so I will take a moment to touch on that.
For two weeks in Orvieto, Italy (a quaint little town built hundreds of years ago on top of a bute), we stayed at San Paolo Monastery. Each morning we would gather for lecture, and a few days we shook it up and traveled. Our lectures were mostly composed of Theological and Art History regarding the art works of Bernini, Giotto and ministries of St. Catherine, St. Claire, St. Francis and many more. I won't bore you with all the details, but I will post a handful of pictures and share a poem I wrote.

Here are some pictures from around town in Orvieto and the Duomo there. I really found the front of the Duomo fascinating because even before you entered the dorms of this ancient cathedral you were walked through the entire history of man, the gospel messages, the passion of christ and final judgement. The front of the Duomo is a compilation of a couple different centuries and represents a vast array of theological ideas.

Italia due

Buon giorno amicci,
Today I woke up and traveled across town to the Vatican. I sat out in the courtyard with hundreds of other tourists, priests, nuns and catholics from around the world. As I sat watching the people standing in line, sitting in the courtyard, feeding the pigeons and playing in the fountain I thought about the anticipation we all brought into that space. From classic pictures to a spiritual longing we all were anticipating an encounter or event. I didn't really look up what to do in my time there, so I sat around until the 12:00 service. In the courtyard we only saw about a half an hour of prayers and music. I think I will return on Wednesday for the morning worship service and to look at the Basilica Museum.



I am learning I need to do at least some planning in advance, but not always.
I returned to the hotel and took a nap, because I can and that's what you do when it's hot and humid outside! When I got up, and after browsing my email and facebook I took a walk around town for some food. I arrived (not on purpose) at the Santa Maria Marggiore Church. I thought I was walking in the direction of the Colosseum but I was going north, not west... What is amazing about the whole thing is it's hard to go any direction without running into something historical, magical, eventful or exciting! There were many tourists here, and a youth-choir outside singing for fun. I walked inside just like the handful of other Churches I have gone to over the past two weeks, but there seemed to be a different atmosphere here. It was a "smaller" (less "historical") Church and so it seemed to have more active ministry... ugh I hate writing that because I feel my impressions are unfair... I don't know, it seemed different. Maybe it was because I wasn't there to listen to lectures or travel with other students. Maybe it was just me. (Even though I took my camera with me and took these pictures).


After the Santa Maria Church I stopped across the street for dinner... shikolata and panini, yum! Yes, I felt a little strange taking pictures of food while I was dining alone (eating alone is the hardest part of traveling solo).

Just as I was walking up the last stairs from the Metro to my hotel, there was a man singing and playing his guitar. This is a common occurrence but this guy was different. He placed himself under an archway which meant his voice and guitar resonated clearly for much farther than if he were out in the open. He had a beautiful voice and sang catchy songs in italian. I stopped to give him some change and he stopped singing to thank me.

Then, I went and took a walk in the park, which is right across the street from the hotel, I found out that it is the weekend of Rome's 7th anual Film Festival. So I picked up a movie listing and made plans to return for the 9:15 showing of "Simple Things." A Russian film with english subtitles, which was also translated into Italian... for subtitles of the subtitles. It was a dark film, a little slow, but pleasantly hopeful in the end.

Italia 1

Hello Friends, Ciao.
I am writing from the beautiful, ancient, eternal, bright, and humid city of Rome, Italy.
The next dozen or so posts will be totally out of order, just a stream of consciousness, but they will capture the amazing moments and memories I have made here in Italy.


Tonight, I took the train from Orvieto (which will be featured much more later), to Rome. I had to get 8 blocks from the train station to my hotel, and try and return a laptop cable to another student. Everything worked out and happened, almost magically, in 4 hours. I still can't believe I was directed to walk left, not right, and I only asked for directions 1 time!
Seriously, if you don't know how directionally challenged I can be you'd be IMPRESSED. I am.

The hotel here is beautiful, I'll post pictures later (for now I just need sleep... and to put my tired swollen feet up!).

What a beautiful city, and thank you God for protecting me and keeping me safe in my crazy travels.

Tomorrow, the Vatacan and a moment with the Pope. (I told grandpa I'd say hello for him, and maybe light a candle for him... maybe I'll just send him a postcard). I miss him.

Ciao bella,

J

New Recipe

I tried a new recipe on some of my dear friends the other night, thanks girls!

I got the "Food and Wine" magazine best recipes of 2010 cookbook in the mail and immediately started looking through it.

The recipe: "Mustard-Glazed Chicken with Arugula and Bok Choi"

Verdict: Baby Bok Choi is a good veggie I should work into my diet more. Arugula-always delicious. Chicken-savory, moist, lots of flavor but not too overwhelming, not too "mustardy."

Just delicious. WIN!

Kenneth Kermit Knutzen

My Grandfather, Ken Knutzen, passed away last Thursday May 6th. He passed peacefully in the early morning after 96 long, devoted years of life. He is remembered by Dorothy his wife; Sue, Ted and Jack his children; John, Julianne, Jessica, Christine, David and Michael, grandchildren and Michaela great-granddaughter.

There are a few things which I have known and have been reminded of about Grandpa's life over the past few days as our family has gathered together to celebrate his life. Grandpa was always a quiet and understated man but lacked nothing in devotion, loyalty, generosity and care. All his children thanked him for giving the blessing of a stable home, great education, financial wisdom and for always being there for them.

I was particularly touched to be able to step in as a musician for the memorial service. Two of the songs Grandpa chose to be sung/played in his memory were "How Great Thou Art" and "Amazing Grace." What I learned from this, and his role as Grandpa is that his devotion to his family, generosity and care was rooted in a deep understanding that this life was not his own. His decisions were made with great care, out of deep gratitude to God the giver of all good things. Grandpa never told me this explicitly but the lesson I have learned is one of stewardship. Recognizing that our lives, relationships, finances, jobs and health are a gift from God and only last for a little while.

I also appreciated taking time to find humor in some of the more difficult times we shared with Grandpa over the past few years. A note in his dresser drawer read "No, Ken, I cannot buy you a car. No, Ken, I cannot take you to the bank. No, Ken, I do not have access to your accounts. No, Ken, I cannot take you to buy a car..." and so forth. He broke out of the nursing home one day a few years back with a car-ad in hand and was determined to get himself some new wheels, then he couldn't figure out how to get there. Grandpa drove his own car, completed his taxes (on turbo-tax on his own computer), and took care of Dorothy until after he was 92. What a long, remarkable life! I hope I'm as feisty as he was when I get that old.


PS: Bet you have never known someone who actually has the name Kermit. Awesome :) I wonder if we can convince anyone to keep that one in the family!

Aug. 13, 1913 ~ May 6, 2010

The Huntington

Hello Friends,
Today I was invited to visit the Huntington with a dear friend, Holly. We were able to traverse from Desert to the Zen gardens in one afternoon! (And get some homework done at the same time!)
We were amazed by the blossoms, sizes, shapes, colors, shades, width, height and breadth of the plants we saw! I decided to finally splurge and buy my own membership so I can bring you, my friends, and my grandfather and share this wonderful experience with me.

My two favorite things were the Koi ponds and the Rose Gardens. Just amazing, beautiful. My favorite roses, I do not know the name, but they were triple blossom roses: deep purple, between maroon and fuschia and they had an incredible scent! Most of the time when you have triple blossom you loose a lot of the rose-perfume. Not in this case :)
And the Koi are just awesome. There was one with really long, flowing fins. It was mostly the golden-orange color with some black and white scales. Very beautiful, like a peacock of the pond.

Well, thanks for sharing this vicariously with me. Maybe soon you can join me to experience it yourself.


Peace,
Jessica

AZ, immigration.

"Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona signed the nation’s toughest bill on illegal immigration into law on Friday. Its aim is to identify, prosecute and deport illegal immigrants.... The law, which proponents and critics alike said was the broadest and strictest immigration measure in generations, would make the failure to carry immigration documents a crime and give the police broad power to detain anyone suspected of being in the country illegally. Opponents have called it an open invitation for harassment and discrimination against Hispanics regardless of their citizenship status."
N.Y. Times 4/23/10

I find it difficult to comment on this because of my negativity towards this grand back-slide into an apartheid-like system. My overall reaction is a frustration with what some others deem "disappointing, compromising, and general "steps-in-the-wrong-direction"" when certain persons are elected to governmental leadership. And then bills and legislature like this becomes overlooked. This is the kind of political move which actually effects individuals in an inhumane, family-splitting, and moral robbing way. Our country does not need any more excuses to be racist; we need more legislation and activism to overcome the crime of racism.

balance

Okay, why is it that my body does not want to sleep when it is time to sleep. My tummy does not like what I eat and my head does not want to concentrate when it is time to study... not fair.

I'm just praying for a little more balance in each day, please.

"Outings"

So, since I will be traveling for 30 days out of the country I have decided to stop "tracking" my outings because there will be probably more than I can keep track of.
This is great news because I was afraid I was boring and didn't do anything new. And I have now been proven wrong. Though, I do tend to pick some of the same spots routinely. And I think that's okay.

Recipes, however, will continue to come.

Italia y Albania

This summer I will be traveling to study in Rome, Italy. We will be staying in the beautiful hills at a monastery north of Rome in Orvieto. I am looking forward to classes with my professors on art and theology, medieval and post-modern.
I will try my best to keep you posted, or at least update when I get home.

Then after class I will vacation in Rome for a week, not too shabby. And travel across the Agean sea into Tirana, Albania. I am traveling with about a dozen high school students and two other leaders. We will be staffing a Vacation Bible School camp for two weeks. I have no idea what this will look like but I'm excited.
I have wanted to travel to Albania ever since my family started to support some missionaries from our home church. Grant and Carina have been in Tirana for at least 12 years now and I have been itching to get out there since I was 14. My parent's didn't think it was a great idea at the time, but support it more now.

More thoughts, ideas, and reflections will come.

Spring Break

Spent most of the time preparing for the sermon I preached Wednesday night on John 15. It was a good experience, I am grateful for such an encouraging and supportive community--just like the vine!

Then I drove all the way up to Santa Cruz, jammin and singing to my music the whole way. I took the 101 and it was BEAUTIFUL! I have not seen so much rain in Southern California so all the brown hills were green with wildflowers. Just breathtaking.

I stopped in to see Coleen and we had a good time sharing about our days over some dinner. It's always good to see old friends.

In Santa Cruz we did all kinds of great stuff:
Westcliffs and natural bridges
Boardwalk
Capitola--adorable!!
Byington Winery Tasting :)

Fun, Fun, Fun...

Then run home, go hang out with the girls and start classes again!!!

Woah.

Computer

Well, it's on. I have access to Word and Keynote but have realized how stinking expensive software is.

I still need to figure out how to download some video files onto this thing... hmmm. And I need to detach myself from my work MacBookPro which has spoiled me ROTTEN. And I still don't have my old calendar... so if I miss something I'm sorry.

What's good: I can actually print again at home. Thank goodness. And all in all getting some new software was a LOT cheaper than a new computer. Thanks Di-no computers.

Good to have reliable technology.

Cumin Chicken and Quinoa Chard Pilaf--Yummy Recipes (#7 & 8)

QUINOA CHARD PILAF

Ready in 40 minutes
(serves 4-6)

1 ½ tsp Olive Oil
1/2 Onion (diced)
1 ½ Cloves Garlic (minced)
1 Cup Uncooked Quinoa (rinsed)
1/2 Cup Canned Lentils
¼ lb fresh mushrooms (chopped)
2 Cups Vegetable Broth
½ Bunch Swiss Chard (remove stems)

Directions

A) Heat oil in large pot over medium heat. Stir in the onion and garlic and saute 5 minutes until onion is tender. Mix in Quinoa, Lentils and Mushrooms. Pour in the broth, cover and cook 20 mins.

B) Remove pot from heat. Shred Chard and gently mix into pot. Cover and allow to sit 5 minutes or until chard is wilted.


CUMIN CHICKEN

2 Tbsp. olive oil, extra virgin
3/4 Tbsps. dry sherry (sub. Dry vermouth).
1 tsps. ground cumin
1 cloves garlic, crushed
1 Tbsps. honey
1/2 tsp. salt or to taste
3 boneless chicken breasts

Mix the oil, wine, cumin, garlic, honey and salt together in small bowl. Place chicken in shallow baking dish and pour marinade over at least 2 hours before cooking. Turn at least once during this time. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Roast chicken on rack in pan. Continue to brush with marinade once or twice as it cooks. Bake for 40-45 minutes. Cover lightly with foil if they brown too much. Serves 6.

Finally... updating

Okay, I'll try to keep this brief because I want to mention a few things about my past weekend.

Totally fun hanging out with my sister Chrissie.

Stop One: Stone Brewery http://www.stonebrew.com/ check it out. A bit pricey but good brew and mostly good food (my pasta was a little bland until I put some peppers in it).

Stop Two: unsuccessful shoe-return. So El Centro, not so close to San Diego... another testimony to my "directionally challenged" life.

Stop Three: San Diego Wild Animal Park!!! SOOOO Fun! When sister gives me pictures I will post a few of us eating cheesy meal worms and playing with butterflies. I think my fav. animal (besides the butterfly exhibit) was the Zebra-Horse-Giraffe animal... OKAPI. Very fun.

Then the long drive back home to LA...

UPDATES

Sorry to have neglected you.
I have been busy... and other poor excuses.

Pieces I plan to post on soon-ish

1) Spring Break
2) Computer
3) Big Bear
4) Preaching in class (Mark 3)
5) San Diego
6) Quinoa-Chard Pilaf and Honey Cumin Chicken
7) My summer trip to Italy (Rome/Orvieto) and Albania (Tirana, etc.)... 33 days of travel in Europe, holler!

If you do read this (yes I know there are a few of you, like 2 or 3 when you have watched all new episodes of Lost, the Office, 30 Rock etc... and are tired of seeing the same updates on facebook... occasionally you take a gander over here) Thank you.

Computer Woes

Well, here we are again.
Last year about this time I was having similar problems with my nemesis--my computer. I deleted the post b/c it was a little too revealing of my rage than I should have shared...

Blue Screen
Flashing "Folder" with a question mark
Course Reader CD lodged in the Disk Drive...

Not a good sign.

On the up side, I have a loaner-computer from chapel. Thank you Fuller for providing equipment for me to do my job that I can "borrow" in such an occasion.
Also... if this is really the end of my previous Mac then that means this whole headache from the day we/I bought this cursed computer.

sorry for the misspelling in my second to last post... it was late... and that was NOT how wrapped was supposed to be spelled... yikes

little quake

4:04 am
4.4 earthquake


I was awake, I've been awake all night. Darn cold medicine... I thought you were supposed to help me sleep. Well, at least I got some more work done.


Glad it was just a little quake.

Get “wrapped” up in my love, Love

A Fleeting Inspiration for my Sermon 3/24

From John 15

I am the true Vine
Abide in me and you’ll see
Life, growth, fruit
Abide in me as I abide in you
Get wrapped up in My love, Love

Strong branches bear good fruit
Healthy vines endure the pruning knife
Cutting away, making way
For life, growth, fruit
Abide in me as I abide in you
Get wrapped up in My love, Love

The branch alone does not flower or fruit
The branch withers and dies apart from the vine
Neither can you flower or fruit
Unless you abide in me
As I abide in you
Get wrapped up in My love, Love.

If you abide in me
My words abide in you
From the dawn of day
To each dawning
May you know: if you wish it, let it be so…

God is glorified by all of this
Follow me and be fruitful
Full of my word and my way
As the Lord above has surrounded me with love
I too have loved everything about you
Abide in me as I abide in you
Get wrapped up in My love, Love

Baklava!

So my friends were planning a pre-wedding celebration for Brian and Ally before they go get hitched in Birmingham! Congrats you two :)
We planned to have lunch together, Greek-style (Brian and Ally met in Greek class in undergrad, precious). I said I'd bring dessert so I decided to try making Baklava...
Then I got sick... it's finals week... I don't want to get them sick so here I have Baklava and no party people to share it with.
Can you tell I'm tired of being sequestered in my apartment all by myself, this is just cruel and unusual punishment for an extrovert. (And it is certainly not making me more productive on my finals work).

note to self: more filo-dough on the bottom, maybe just more filo-dough in general... And maybe some honey with the walnuts to keep it sticky together... we'll have to work on this one again to get it right.

Enjoy~

So sometimes, when you're not expecting it a 30 minute "nap" turns into ... 2 hours...
That's what happens when you have the most comfy chair in the world. Seriously.

The Price I Pay

This afternoon I walked down to one of my favorite lunch spots, Euro Pane, and ordered their famous "Egg Salad" Sandwich open face on Rosemary Currant bread spread with roasted red pepper pesto, mixed baby greens and their creamy egg salad. Additionally I had resolved to get some work done so I defiantly ordered a soy-latte, knowing that my discipline in Lent was crumbling.
The angel said to me: “Take it, and eat; it will be bitter to your stomach, but sweet as honey in your mouth.” Rev. 10:9



Now this is what I am drinking because my stomach is all upset. I should have known. I should have stayed true to my promises. I think I need to really stop loving coffee so much!

five years

I can hardly believe it was five years ago today that I was goofing off in Solvang with my girlfriend. We were staying at her grandparents and having a blast. Reading books, laying out at the pool, shopping for sassy clothes-I bought a pair of red heels I knew I would never wear but I loved how sexy they made me feel. And she bought this gorgeous green dress that made her look like a million bucks! I had resolved to leave my computer at home, and to unplug (minus my cell phone) for a few days.

We headed back to my parents place, and stopped at the Camarillo Outlets on our way. Standing by the sweaters and slacks at J-Crew (maybe Banana Republic, they're too similar to me) I received a phone call from a college friend. "Jessica, Chace is dead" is all I remember hearing. The floor fell out from under me, my heart sank as I made my way for the door. It was too shocking to really cry over, and in some really unfortunate sense it wasn't shocking at all. My friend took the keys and drove us home.

It took me years to remember the events of those following weeks. It was like I had lost a part of my substance--the part which catches on to things and remembers what is going on or what people are saying. I was like an empty tunnel, the wind just blew right on through and past me on to the next destination.

Today I am sad to have lost a friend and the years we might have had together. I am sad you never knew him. But, even more so I am glad to have had so many warm hearts and open arms to have been held in ever since. Someone once said, "death and taxes are the only certainties in life." True, but I will not remember the details of each tax form as I will cherish the memories of those I have been privileged to know and lived to loose. I pray for Marcia, Chace's mother, wherever you are. It is not fair. The hand you have been dealt is heavy and wrought with pain. I pray the Lord comforts you and brings new life into your whole being.

Confession

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I have sinned against you and against my neighbor.
In this season of Lent the Church has adopted a tradition of waiting, preparing, suffering... I prefer to call it consciousness. Often times people give up a luxury or an indulgence (not the medieval practice of paying for the forgiveness of sins).

I chose coffee. Last year I gave up coffee as well and made it through the 40 day stretch.
This year, not so successful. I caved in.
Now, on the contrary to some this was a premeditated "sin." It was not an "impulse buy" or a "social-slip." I knew I was going to wake up this morning, brew a pot of coffee and sip that delicious nectar as I read Breuggemann and finished an assignment. It is raining outside and I just needed a little extra motivation.




Now if it were only easier to do this confession thing when it really counts.

Monrovia Falls (Outing #4)

Monday 2/15 we went on a "day hike" up to the Monrovia Falls.

The hike was beautiful, there were many more trees than I anticipated which was an absolute treat. And the brush was actually green due to the rain we have received the last month.
My friends Michael and Brian were my guides (they are much more experienced and in much better shape for this stuff). At one point Michael said "I had no idea California (southern) had anything like this." Yes, Michael it's true. Don't worry I'll only share with my blog-friends and we'll keep your secret quiet.

The fall was nice, about 40 feet tall and we were joined by about 40 kids of all ages with their parents and guardians. We stopped to catch our (read-my) breath and have some fruit, enjoy the view and soak up a little sun. Surprisingly in the middle of February it was 75* or so (well maybe that's not so surprising, CA).

Reflections: I am not in as good of shape as I believe I convinced the guys I was (oh pride!). My buttocks is still sore (more my hips), and my knee got tweaked when we were taking our "Tai-Cheese" photo (imitating in a very elementary-school fashion a woman who was actually there doing Tai-Chi). She, our sensai, is featured in the background of our "Waterfall surfing" picture and we tried out some of her mooves in "Tai-Cheese."





I do enjoy getting out and hiking but this was another reminder that I can't sit on my (young-ish but ever-aging) buttocks and think I can run up a mountain with no problem. This is a bit of a conundrum... simple answer that is difficult to actualize. One day at a time.

Cheap and Easy (Recipe #5)

Chicken Tortilla Soup

I've never made this before, but have loved it for many, many moons. I found a quick and easy recipe online and thought I'd give it a try.
General: I liked it, and shared it with a few (many) friends. It's a good, hearty, affordable meal. But not too exciting for the taste-buds.

Note:
Canned soup is canned soup... even if it's called Chicken Tortilla Soup.
When the recipe says 12 servings it really means 12 meals... this means either share with friends or use all fresh ingredients for a smaller batch (maybe another day when I have 4 hours not 1).

Always enjoyable with fresh avocado!


Peace

PS: I feel like I'm falling behind a bit on these postings! But, never fear it's just because finals are coming up (I know, next month but give me a break). When we start the new quarter and over the summer there will be much more to talk about :)

lament in worship

"The person who hears your lament and far more bears your lament against them, paradoxically, is someone you deeply, wildly trust. It is the paradox that opens the heart to unfathomable rest. To sing a lament against God in worship reveals far, far greater trust than to sing a jingle about how happy we are and how much we trust him. That kind of song is much like the smiling salesman who meets you with a "Hey, how are ya. You're looking good today; how can I help ya." Lament cuts through insincerity, strips pretense, and reveals the raw nerve of trust that angrily approaches the throne of grace and then kneels in awed, robust wonder."



Dan Allender "The Hidden Hope in Lament" Copyright © 1994 Mars Hill Review 1 Founded in 1994 · Premier Issue: pgs 25-38.

Outing #3 Basketball

I went to my first double-header live Basketball Game.
I know, surprising this was a first.
Thank you Libby for your BBallin heart and patience to fill me in on game calls.

CSULA (Mom's Alma Mater--woot woot Golden Eagles) vs. Humboldt State

Girls (don't remember the score) but Humboldt won
Guys 73-74 Humboldt won in overtime (good game!)

Hot dogs and hoochie mommas were the theme of the night.

Now I know more about Basketball than I ever have. I have been to a college Basketball game and I'm not in college any more. And I can definitely say I would choose Basketball over baseball any day (sorry, I know that may offend some).

Saturday Walk; outing #2 (And cookies Recipe #?)

After a long week: nine days of up and down and up and down (and we're not talking about those cute little exercises Winnie the Pooh does each morning) and lots of rain I was ready to get out and get moving. I needed some fresh air, some green trees and a quiet walk to ease my mind.

I thought I would head down to South Pasadena and take a loop around my short-term summer neighborhood. There's a 2.8 mile square with only about 2 stoplights which is perfect for an afternoon stroll. I let my mind wander freely, walking through the past few days, working out the questions and trying to create some sort of organization for the days to come. The cool clean after the rain air helped me to detox from it all. The mountains were snow-capped and the plants were saturated from the long rain. I was finally able to break free from the tension and questions as my heart-rate rose and body warmed up. My fingers weren't cold any more so i rolled my sleeves up and fixed my gaze ahead.

I walked past an art store I had notice a dozen times before, and decided today was the day to take a look. The artist was extremely prolific and had a beautiful collection of paintings. Many abstract, some of women, animals, vases and voluptuous characters. I have been waiting to fill a space above my couch and was looking for a painting to place there. I found one which suited my taste, but not my wallet (of course). It was red, orange and yellow; rectangles arranged in a circular pattern. Dark and rich colors were the background for a demure tree; black and leafless. Two branches stretched away from each other but close enough as if each branch were still looking at the other--questioningly, painfully, betrayed.



I thanked him for his time and talents, said I needed to think about the painting before I would make a decision about purchasing it. I continued my walk up Fair Oaks for which there is very little to report. The rest of the day moved along with purpose but without haste. I had decided to try a new recipe for Chocolate Chip cookies and altered it a teensy bit myself (Kahlua instead of Vanilla Extract (it is a little thicker and adds a hint of coffee to pair with the chocolate); and a combination of semi-sweet choc chips and dark-chocolate chunks). I must say they are delicious (I have probably had a dozen myself!).

(Next post I will make sure to have the right numbers for my tally).

Recipe #3? yes 3

What counts as a new recipe? Just that I haven't made it before? I think that's good...

Tonight:balsamic vinaigrette with some dijon, lemon juice and white wine vinegar... pretty tasty and a fun experiment

Salad with Grilled Chicken (Garlic, Rosemary, Lemon and a touch of Olive Oil)
Mixed Greens topped with blueberries, almonds and apple (and whatever else comes from the fridge).

Company= Rachel Bos

Maybe we will share a chardonnay.

Recipe #2

Cajun-Blackened Salmon and Pasta Primavera
Paired with a Chilean Pinot Noir "Terrarum"

Just about the perfect meal in my mind, some of my favorite flavors beautifully grilled to perfection.





Tip: Choose Cajun spices that are salt-free for a healthier and more Unadulterated Spice!

Libby and I enjoyed this meal together on a Friday Night. We then tried to make it to Ikea before they closed. I was wrong, they close at 9 not 10... lesson learned.

A hint from my Grandfather: Any future or prospective boyfriends might want to pay attention to this one ;)

Recipe #1

Buttermilk Biscuits some with Blueberry and Almond

These biscuits were inspired by tea with Amber and recipe perusing with Rachel.
The company that comes with food is one of the best parts! I enjoy cooking, preparing, smelling, and eating but most of all I enjoy the intimate, laughable and often a little outrageous memories made over a meal.

These biscuits were dubbed Sh*t Biscuits because in the Joy of cooking the recipe that follows Buttermilk Biscuits is a kid's recipe called "SHIP" Biscuits. Rachel misheard my recipe reading and the evening progressed in this fashion.



They came out looking tasty on the outside but not quite as soft and fluffy as I had hoped... this may have been due to the fact that I noticed the oven wasn't quite hot enough... I had pre-set it to 400 (though it called for 425) because it is a new oven, and I had never cooked in it before. So when I saw that it was 375 as the biscuits went in I raised the temp to the recommended 25...
About 8 minutes later I smelled a faint burning scent and thought to check on my Sh*t Biscuits. And Sh*t the oven had sky-rocketed to 550degrees!!! They were golden brown on the outside (as picture shows)... but black on the bottoms (conveniently hidden in said picture).

Moral of the story: when you are making Sh*t Biscuits make sure you know the temperature of your oven or you'll be Sh*t out of luck and biscuits.

Saturday 1/9 Lacey Park

Here are a few pictures of my outing with Rachel at Lacey Park. Beautiful, large park in San Marino. Highly recommend. Good for reading, picnicking, walking and leaf-crunching.

Twenty-Six and Twenty-Ten

After a LOOOONG journey over the past six months (read: years) I finally feel like I'm getting my feet back under me. I have been so blessed over the past six months with many changes and a TON of generous support and gifts along the way that have helped me reach a place of peace, comfort, joy and hope. I will not go into the details of the past six months (years) but I do wish to share with you a dream and goal I have for my 26th birth-year and the year 2010.


26x2 is 52. There are 52 weeks in a year...
I love trying new things but often lack the motivation (sometimes creativity) to live into this.
I love food.
I love adventures.

My Two Goals for 26/2010 are as follows:
Try 26 new recipes
Go out and do 26 new adventures (parks, museums, hikes, adventures etc.)

I NEED YOUR HELP! This is a phrase I am learning how to better use in my life :)

I would love your participation in sharing this journey with me. Please share with me a favorite family recipe or join me on an adventure to somewhere you've longed to explore! And maybe even a story about why it's so special to you.

IE: The Knutzen Brussels Sprout Story
One day Chrissie's friend Jessie Torres was visiting and stayed over for dinner. When we sat down at our kitchen table, around the brown vinyl booth a tiny little voice from blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jessie proclaimed "Ewwww! I hate Brussels-sprouts!" To which my ingenious and quick-witted mother replied "Oh, don't worry Jessie, these aren't really Brussels sprouts they are 'snaggle-wumpus.' Yes, they look like Brussels sprouts but they don't taste much like them, just try for yourself and see." (My mother placed two 'snaggle-wumpus' on each of our plates, drowned them in butter and topped it with a pinch of salt). Jessie hesitantly examined the small green leafy bulb on her fork and popped it into her mouth. "Mmmmm, these are good! I think I like 'snaggle-wumpus.'" Jessie proceeded to share with her own mother what a great meal Mrs. Knutzen had prepared and asked if she would make 'snaggle-wumpus' too.
When the two mothers finally connected about this mystery-vegetable Mrs. Torres proclaimed "How did you get her to eat those, I hate Brussels Sprouts!"


Please join me in making 26/2010 a memorable year!


Peace