Sunday, February 15, 2009

Hamster in a Wheel

sorry it has been so long, as you read you'll know why!
I enjoy reading your posts so keep them coming friends :)

So here I am again, just past midterms and about to die from overloading my plate. You’d think that someone who has been “over committing” herself for 10 years would realize what a toll it takes. Instead I will blog, avoiding homework, and try to cope.

So, I’ve been trying for the past three years to take a step back and do less, find the things in life that I really value and make space and time for them. I was forced to make space and time while in Ojai but had close to no emotional, social or spiritual strength to actually do anything with it. Then I moved to Pasadena and started school at Fuller Theological Seminary and was slowly but surely rejuvenated by the community and studies. Although because of my previous bad habits I figured I’d be fine working 20-25 hours a week at a local coffee shop to pay for some of my living expenses while I was paying for school. I worked this much and more in undergrad and apparently had forgotten what a toll it took on my spiritual, social and emotional life. (Mind, Body, Spirit right)… You’d think those CafĂ© tri-folds at Point Loma that taught about “Mind, Body, Spirit Balance” would have brought some insight… I feel like I’m in recovery from an addiction. Maybe in some cases I am.

So here I am, stuck in a couple feet of it… brown, moist, squishy, suffocating…
I am overwhelmed and it’s my own damn fault!

I’m trying to cut back by saying no and delegating as much as I can to others, but often times those things take more work before they start paying off.

Now, how do I cope?

Take a breath—nothing is as bad as it seems when it first hits you.
Be grateful—every little bit counts. I am so grateful for a God that is present and strong enough to carry me through the rough spots. And I appreciate good friends who pitch in by offering encouragement and hugs.
And try to keep it all in perspective.

Okay now I’m going to work on my sermon, worship for tomorrow and the hundreds of pages of reading I have not gotten to yet!
Thanks for reading and let’s all keep each other in prayer!


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