Monday, June 23, 2008

Reaism or Pessimism

So, I have this tendency to try and protect myself by examining every situation closely in order that I might figure out where I fit and how to proceed.  
Let's start with an easy one for instance: Greek.  What do I know for sure?  I'm not dumb, the bible is good stuff and learning greek is helpful in learning more and understanding more deeply, my professor is intelligent and skilled, I have homework assignments and quizzes.  My performance on tests and quizzes will determine my grade which will be a reflection of my work.  Therefore whatever grade I get is a direct result of the work I put into learning the subject.  I think I may get a C this quarter.   (update: true...)

Moving into less-charted-territory: Family.  What do I know for sure?  They love me and I love them.  We all have different personalities.  We all like different things.  We all have faith in an amazing God.  We all have had experiences that have formed us to be who we are.  Chrissie and I do not know anyone else in our family intimately.  My parents have a strong and loving relationship.  We disagree over many issues and topics.  Because we are so different I know that I will learn a lot from each person and be encouraged by them because of their love.  But I also know that there is potential for pain because of that hope, faith and trust that is placed in that history and love.  Therefore I risk being hurt in order to grow closer to them, learn and be blessed by them.  How much do I risk?  How much am I willing to put on the line for the unknown?  Will we ever grow much closer when we disagree on so much and have had such different life experiences?  

Dare I forge a thought into the outer-galaxies of the XY chromosome?  
What do I know for sure?  You like me... well at least today you do.  You think I'm beautiful... until you see I haven't shaved in days.  We have a good time together and with other friends... will this change if one of us gets hurt?  We both have issues, insecurities and marred pasts... and gratitude for grace received from the Lord... can I receive grace from you and will you receive grace from me?   (update: status: single... what can I say)

I hardly even know where to go with that one.  
Thank the Lord, I don't have to figure it out by my own abilities.

Thank you Lord for giving us friends and family that care deeply.  

"May the Lord bless you and keep you.  May he make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  The Lord lift up his countenance on you, and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

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