So this Friday we went to the Roller Skating Rink for my friend Tammy’s birthday. We all squeezed into my corolla and headed down to Glendale to take a trip back in time, I didn’t know at this time how far back we would go. This place was great because you can only rent roller skates, no rollerblades. I was a little scared because it had been long enough since I had trusted myself to balance on wheels, and even longer since those wheels had a rubber toe-stopper (“toe pick” anybody?).
When they let us through the iron locked doors (sketchy) and we picked up our skates we thought this isn’t half bad, it looks a lot better inside than we anticipated. There were a number of elementary through high school aged kids and a few more mature patrons. There was one little boy who caught our eye at about 4’11” he glided around the rink with great ease. He was wearing blue jeans and a blue shirt and had a cute little fro. He must have only been 10 years old but that boy had some moves and when “Smooth Criminal” came through the PA we all turned to watch him, and a few other “advanced” skaters.
About midway through the night, after we shared a pretzel, nachos and a diet coke it was time to use the ladies room. I inched my way over, being very careful not to fall, for falling in this room would be even more awkward. I scooted into the little girls room and saw three blue stalls ahead of me, I saw a little girl come out of the stall on the left and decided to avoid kiddie-dribble I maneuvered my way to stall number two. I turned around and went to lean down but thought “wow, these skates really make the distancing totally different” after my shorts were down and I was positioned in the careful hovering position I realized, “wait is this a normal sized toilet? Are my skates really making me THAT much taller?” It was basically too late to abort-mission so I did my business, meanwhile seeing the bottom of the skates of the stall next to me swinging in the air above the ground, which just affirmed, “I’m using the KIDDIE TOILET!” I wanted to laugh out loud of the idiocracy of it all but decided to just smirk and save the story for my girlfriends.
So yes, friends, I used the kiddie toilet, in roller-skates on Friday night. It wasn’t planned, but it was an adventure. Brought me back to the good ol’ days.